Last week we published the disturbing story of the merger between Major Pain Industries and Ryan Pyrotechnics. In shocking allegations just released this new organization, Quod Erat Demonstrandum (QED), has invested millions to prove their geometric invincibility.
Their top research and development team has created new, hideous implements of warfare to work alongside their 72" Inflatable Ball (aka, Daisy Cutter). This new weaponry, available for use October 21st, 2011, can deliver a lethal payload of destruction at extreme distances with pinpoint accuracy.

Do not find yourself in their split hairs. The Men's Ministries of FBCTC has erected a safe house available to you this fall.

Please note the following safe house coordinates.

32° 12' 15" N / 95° 20' 55" W

As soon as we receive your deposit of $76 (by July 1st) you too can enjoy the peace of mind that comes with the security of our REAL MOV safe house.

See you there...

anon